Last weekend I bought a sofa U.S.-made, Im glad to say and it caused me to consider the relationship between buyers and sellers.

Having shopped at furniture stores many times, Im experienced in dealing with salespeople of differing abilities. The person helping me was very skilled and professional, so I took her card, went out comparison shopping, found nothing else, went back and completed the purchase with her.

Thats when it got interesting. A simple credit card transaction on an existing account, at a store with new computer terminals, took the better part of an hour. It turns out that the hardware might be new, but the systems software at company headquarters is ancient. Even if Id been buying a $20 knick-knack, it would have caused the same problem.

Fortunately, Im patient with salespeople having trouble with electronic equipment, because Ive also worked in retail and have had problems getting computers to cooperate. Why should I be angry with someone who is not at fault for the system?

On top of the unexpected wait, the wording on the sales and delivery contract promised all sorts of penalties if I failed to follow their strict rules. The tone was that they were doing me a big favor by selling me the sofa.

I just hope all goes well with the delivery and they send the right item, without a broken leg or tear in the fabric. Its scary to think of dealing with the company if something is wrong.

When I bought a TV last summer, my experience was far worse. Im sure that the $300 saved on the specific model I wanted was more than compensated for by the amount of time, effort, mileage and emotion invested in the purchasing process.

Im not knocking all stores and all store policies. Ive had happy experiences at some places not known for good service, and unhappy experiences at others where the service should have been excellent.

The same problem applies to restaurants. Within one week, I had an unexplained wait of 45 minutes for lunch at one well-known, sit-down place. Four days later, at a fast-food restaurant, the onion rings box was half-full of fries on the bottom they had run out of onion rings and couldnt provide a full order without cooking a new batch.

That restaurant is surrounded by competitors, but its interior clearly hadnt been remodeled since they opened about 25 years ago. It was so full of damaged surfaces that its hard to believe the place passes health inspections.

What is the right way to respond to these customer service issues, except to never return? There isnt always time to speak with a manager right away. When I went online later to the fast-food giants website, I found no e-mail contact or comment area, only a non-toll-free phone number to be called during business hours.

The wireless crowd would have instantly tweeted their displeasure with bad service, or posted it on Facebook, but Im one of the dozen or so people in the U.S. who doesnt own a portable device yet.

I also worry about the potential harm my complaint might cause for an employee who is not at fault. Company management is much more likely to blame the front-line person than its own policy for customer dissatisfaction. The last thing I want to do, when I shop locally, is to hurt the job stability of a local resident.

Maybe the answer is simple honesty: Just tell the customer up-front if there is a problem or potential delay. That humanizes the transaction and, possibly, saves a customer relationship.

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